We learned in the May 24, 2005 edition of The New York Times that advances in technology have not resulted in lowered average scores for golfers.
We have over-size drivers, irons made of space-age materials for lightness, highly engineered putters, better golf tees, unlimited opportunities for instruction, cable TV channels devoted entirely to golf, and so on and so forth.
However, “The average 18-hole score for the average golfer remains about 100, as it has for decades, according to the National Golf Foundation, an industry research and consulting service.”
As reported in the NYT, the theories on why golfers are not improving range from “life pressures, psychological demons, the changing family unit, the flood of baby boomer retirees, even post-Sept. 11 effects.” Dr. Bob Rotella “wonders if people are thinking too much.”
A number of my friends were not surprised by the NYT article, and they asked me for my thoughts on the matter. Golf scores are not improving because golfers
(a) have not had access to the important truths contained in the Golfnostic Gospels and
(b) have not been made aware of many game-improving insights available from the disciplines of geometry, physics, cosmology, philosophy, and anthropology, and also from the field of paranormal phenomena.
This article will give the reader a brief introduction to the recently discovered Golfnostic Gospels, and set forth one of the most ancient truths contained in those texts.
The Golfnostic Gospels (“GGs”) were unearthed last year in caves near the northern Egyptian City of El Sandtrapya.
The GGs are hitherto unknown secret writings which describe the Second Century doctrinal disputes between Caddyus the Upright Prophet and Paul the Great Associationist.
To date, only a small portion of the GGs has been translated into English. However, we now have definitive proof that golf evolved from the early practice of shepherds who, out of great boredom, began to hit rocks with their staffs.
The activity was eventually refined to a contest whereby the shepherds would try to hit their rocks as close as possible to a distant target.
The shepherds of one tribe known as the Wandering Wackerites lost all perspective and became so fascinated with this activity that many of their sheep died from being hit by flying rocks and many neglected Wackerite wives petitioned for what we now call divorce (these were the first recorded divorces in the history of mankind).
The tribe became extinct due to the lack of wool and mutton, fatal neck injuries sustained by many of the men from swinging staffs with large crooks at the upper ends, and the extremely high divorce rate that resulted in fewer and fewer children.
Some of the teachings contained in the GGs are based upon the tragic history of the Wandering Wackerites.
Caddyus claimed that if Feriosaxum (literally, “to hit the rock”) - what we now call “golf” - is understood for what it is beyond a mere game, and placed in the proper cosmological context, it will result in true ”recreation”, thereby providing a path to essential golf knowledge and golf peace. Caddyus stressed that the primary responsibility of the teachers of golf was to explain the “intestimus ludus of Feriosaxum” (what some modern writers have called the “inner game of golf”). On the other hand, Paul The Great Associationist argued that golf should be looked at as primarily a social and hierarchical activity such that the individual needed to look outside of him/herself and required numerous technical manuals, pep talks, pithy slogans, many implements, specialized sandals, and memberships in many organizations to insure success at the game.
Here is a literal translation of one of Caddyus’s earliest teachings that summarizes his philosophical insights about Feriosaxum:
If you bring forth what is within you, what you bring forth will save your game. If you fail to bring forth what is within you, what you fail to bring forth will destroy your game.
So, what is the importance of all this? The importance lies in the fact that we now have ancient and insightful support for the proposition that there really is an “inner game of golf” and that success at the game depends upon understanding and accepting the ramifications of that proposition. The phrase “inner game of golf” is much more than contemporary psychological mumbo jumbo. Intestimus ludus is the key to inner knowledge, steadfastness, cheerfulness, focus, and a lower score. Getting back to the issue of technological advances in golf, it seems to this writer that such advances are important and useful, and should be taken advantage of by players at every level of the game. However, technological advances will be most effective when they are recognized to be secondary to Caddyus’s instruction to first “bring forth what is within you.”
Future articles will address other teachings of the Golfnostic Gospels and discuss some of the great doctrinal disputes between Caddyus and Paul (a proposed article will include a discussion of a partial transcript of a Wackerite divorce proceeding); relevant findings from PCT Institute in Niblickvostock in the former Soviet Union (please see the Endnote); and many relevant insights from numerous disciplines such as, for example, philosophy, anthropology, geometry, and physics.
Jack Long is a golf-theorist and founder of The Paranormal Golf Institute. He is working on a series of articles based in part upon:
Cold War research documents in the field of paranormally controlled trajectories (PCT), documents recently discovered in the archives of the PCT Institute in Niblickvostock in the former Soviet Union; and
His own, and other recent translations of the Golfnostic Gospels unearthed last year in caves near the northern Egyptian city of El Sandtrapya.
No part of this article may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission from Jack Long, PGI, 192 College Street, Burlington, VT 05401.
I hope you enjoyed the first of the Jack-Long-articles
The other articles in the series can be found by clicking the links below.
Jack Long2
Jack Long3
Jack Long4
Jack Long5
Jack Long6
Jack Long7
Jack Long8
Jack Long9
Jack Long10
Jack Long11
